Biggest Hidden Costs Of Giving Birth In America

Mothers are stunned at having to pay a $1,000 misdemeanor for revealing their vagina in the delivery room.

Unless you pony up and pay this charge, doctors will send you home with a baby randomly selected from the maternity ward.

Hospitals will snap a photo of your group at the moment the baby crowns, then trying to soak you for $30 for one cheap glossy printout.

Most parents want some fanfare when they cut the umbilical cord, but that level of panache doesn’t come cheap.

If you want your kid to have toenails, that’s another $3,000. Fingernails are even more expensive.

The cost of licensing a track like Gucci Mane’s “Lemonade” can add thousands of dollars to your bill.

Can be up to $500 to cover the cost of the hospital taking your money.

You can avoid this cost by stealing one from a boat in the dead of night.

Newborns naturally look kinda gross, which is why hospitals charge you for the mascara and lipstick that is applied to every baby.

Their rates are higher than you’d think.

Good luck finding an in-network soothsayer!

The Placenta Happy Hour at hospitals is always fun, but the $30 charge for a cocktail is completely outrageous.

Wanna turn on that lamp by the bed? Gonna cost you.

You’ll also have to buy him an adorable little suit for his future court date.

This centuries-old tax on having a vagina during childbirth is still strictly enforced in most states.

Though annoying, you’ll have to cough this up if you want to make it past her hut with your baby.

This 10% tax goes towards local services, like the hospital CEO’s nannies.

The doctor told you that you’d cave and get an epidural! That will be $2000.

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