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Biden Administration Under Fire For Breaking Child Labor Laws After Half Of Cabinet Revealed To Be Under Age Of 10

WASHINGTON—Drawing swift rebukes from regulators and industry activists, the Biden administration came under fire Thursday for breaking child labor laws after half of the federal cabinet was revealed to be under the age of 10. “We’ve confirmed that…

Politics

Fast-Talking Biden Upsells Australian Prime Minister 2 Extra Nuclear Subs But He Has To Sign Today

Politics

Tucker Carlson’s Biggest Lies

While the Fox News host is not necessarily known for being honest, text messages released in the Dominion Voting Systems lawsuit show that Tucker Carlson frequently lies to viewers. The Onion examines Tucker Carlson’s biggest lies.

Politics

Ron DeSantis Bans Births In Florida Due To Exposure Of Impressionable Infants To Vagina

TALLAHASSEE, FL—In an ongoing effort to protect children from sexually explicit scenes, Gov. Ron DeSantis banned births in the state of Florida on Tuesday, citing the need to protect impressionable infants from exposure to vaginas. “No longer will…

Politics

Mitch McConnell Bankrupted By 3-Day Stay In Hospital

WASHINGTON—As he entered the third day of his stay at George Washington University Hospital, sources confirmed Friday that the treatment Minority Leader Mitch McConnell had received for a concussion sustained during a fall at a D.C. dinner event had…